Organization: Organizing the Neutral News Message

Using organizational patterns for the documents you produce initially sounds limiting to your creativity; however, once you’re at work and face a mountain of emails to which you must respond, the production of a proposal with a two-day deadline, and the researching and writing of a report for your company’s top client, you’ll be happy that you learned them. Remember that these messages patterns or structures can be adapted to any mode: letters, memos, emails—even proposals and reports.

Neutral News Messages

The neutral news message—AKA favorable, good, or positive news—is the most basic, straightforward type of technical writing document you can produce. Although it is suited primarily for letters, memos, and emails, you can use it for a variety of purposes:

  • Delivering good news.
  • Delivering neutral news (basic, neutral, or objective information).
  • Making requests or inquiries.
  • Ordering materials (any goods).
  • Responding positively to a request, inquiry, order, or complaint.

Due to the fact that its subject will not worry, anger, disappoint, or otherwise create a negative response in the reader, but can in fact have a quite positive effect, you can handle it in three simple steps.

Step 1: Deliver the News

It’s crucial for you to quickly reveal your purpose to readers. The first step in the neutral news message hones that requirement to a fine point: in the introductory paragraph to your message, you state only the news (or purpose). You save all details for later.

Here are some examples:

Example 1
Congratulations! You have been chosen as the recipient of the 2014-2015 Anna B. Hahn Memorial Scholarship.

Example 2
The committee has read all proposals and would like to recommend that the department accept the one submitted by Foster & Grant.

Look back at those examples. What do you notice about them? Each is a single sentence. Is this possible? Can you write a paragraph that consists of a single sentence?

That concept sort of flies in the face of everything you might have learning in formal writing courses, but the answer is “yes, in professional writing you can!” Remember: paragraphs are shorter, and in this step, you need only deliver the news.

Step 2: Provide Necessary Details

Now that you’ve told the reader the purpose of what he or she is reading, you should go on to deliver any pertinent details about the subject. When it comes to determining what sorts of details to include, consider the sorts of questions you (as the reader) might ask about each of the above statements.

Example 1

Answers to questions like these make up the core of the message body, which could consist of more than one paragraph:

  • How much is the scholarship?
  • Do I need to complete any paperwork?
  • How do I receive the money?
  • Can I use it for anything or is it just for books?
  • When is it distributed?
  • If there is anything left over, how can that be spent?

Congratulations! You have been chosen as the recipient of the 2014-2015 Anna B. Hahn Memorial Scholarship.

Since this scholarship is for the entire school year, half ($1250) will be distributed in the fall; the remaining half in the spring. These amounts will be automatically deposited into your account at the university bookstore two weeks prior to the beginning of each term.

This award is earmarked for the purchase of books and related supplies, including laptops and tablets, pens and pencils, and notebooks, among other items. A list of the items that can be purchased with your award is attached. Please take this sheet with you when you visit the bookstore.

Any funds left over at the end of the fall term will be rolled over into your account for use in the spring; however, anything left over at the end of spring will be distributed to you in a check, which will be available two weeks after the end of the close of the semester.

Please drop by 323 Shanks Hall to complete the required scholarship acceptance form on or before July 12. If you have any questions, please contact the Scholarships Office at 540-231-1919.

Example 2

Answers to questions like these make up the core of the message body, which could consist of more than one paragraph:

  • What does this proposal involve?
  • Why does the committee prefer this one?
  • Why were the other ideas rejected?

The committee has read all proposals and would like to recommend that the department accept the one submitted by Foster & Grant.

This proposal won our approval because it provided the most aesthetically-pleasing, yet cost-conscious, solution for renovating the Third Street Park. As you can tell from the attached specs, the plan proposes installation of three wooden swing set/play areas for children, two picnic shelters, renovated restrooms, and new, environmentally-conscious landscaping throughout the park. The plan came in nearly $10,000 below the costs of the other proposals.

Step 3: Close Cordially

The conclusion of a neutral news message can be very simple. Use the context to determine which version you want to use:

Example 1
If you have any questions, please contact me at Ext. 313.

Example 2
If you would like to discuss this further, please contact us via email at whitman@geo.com.

After you have been working with the pattern for awhile, writing a neutral news message should come quite naturally to you.